Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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