I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
