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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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