Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize