Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I am available for nakedness
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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