Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My nipple is on Facebook.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
