Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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