Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
