He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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