You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
