there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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