ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
