we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
