idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
