Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
