Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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