i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
