I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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