I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
