I wish I only lived at night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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