oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
