why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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