I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize