you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
