All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
