Midget sex pt 2 tonight
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
