Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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