i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
