Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
His hands were made for my vagina.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
How external is "for external use only"?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
