I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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