Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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