I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Boobs speak an international language.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
