Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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