im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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