who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
