Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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