he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
