somebody snuck up and got me drunk
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
