TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
