i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I could make wine with my vomit
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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