i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
