used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
God I need to hump something, right now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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