So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
