Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize