Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
