I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
