Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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