i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
