Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize