I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Semen is not good for contacts.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
