3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
