Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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