the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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