Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
