found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
