What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize
