wrigley field is MILF paradise
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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