Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
