Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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