11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
