WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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