She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
