The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
