Do you still have your period?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
