And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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